Entry 14: Theme Park Part 2

“Alright here’s what we’re going to do,” Louis said, “I’m going to tug at those spoons, one at a time, and you’re going to tug at my tail at the same time. That way, maybe I can pull them down with just enough force.”

“Okay, that is a plan.”

Louis was relieved, he thought it would take ages to get Kookie on board.

“I will accept $50 per spoon, you can pay me by traveller’s cheques.”

Louis slapped his forehead, “Never mind you idiot. Just stop making a commotion.”

Luckily, Louis was able to pull down the spoons all by himself. They were hanging by flimsy hooks. He felt a sudden thrill as he grabbed the spoons, one in each wing, and managed to slowly edge the key towards the cage. Finally, it was within reach. He snatched it up and began working it in the padlock when the ride operator entered into the office, humming some tacky tune.

“Hey!” she said, her eyes widening in disbelief when she saw Louis. “I’ll be… never seen anything like it! I’ll earn a fine commission selling you two clowns to the zoo.” She charged at them, but by then Louis had opened the cage and flew out, grabbing one of Kookie’s wings to carry him up into the air. Unfortunately, Kookie weighed more than a brick. They were only a short distance away from the office when Louis ran out of energy. He landed with a thud and Kookie lay almost upside down beside him. Louis could see the ride operator spotting them and starting to jog over. But she was a bit overweight herself and it would take her some time. Louis looked back at Kookie, still almost upside down and now eyeing a person carrying some gross-smelling clam chowder on the pathway beside them. In that moment, Louis was so tempted to abandon him and fly away. But then he groaned, disappointed in his own sense of ethics, and started to brainstorm other options.

“Any portals ‘round here, Kooks?” Louis paused then added, “Other than at the peak of a rollercoaster?”

“Are you less than the average smart? I would never invest in building a portal in this place full of smiley mouses.”

Louis looked around. He spotted a small gated place where kids were riding mini-electric cars. The employee at the front was exclaiming loudly into a microphone, “Step right in, step right in! Forget those old dodgem cars! For a special one-month time only, we got these luxury cars set up just for your tiny tots! Minimal risk. What the heck, you gotta sign a disclaimer anyway!”

“Bingo,” Louis said and dragged Kookie over to and above the short fence. He found an unoccupied car parked just inside the fence and none of the staff were looking. The key was in the ignition. What luck… Then he realised the accelerator would be out of reach of his small bird frame. If Louis had a dictionary, he would rip out the word ‘luck’ and put it under a flaming matchstick.

“Alright Kookie, you wait in this car, out of sight, you hear! I’ll be back with those spoons.”

As Louis flew back to the staff office, above roof level to avoid sight by the ride operator, he heard her voice drift up from somewhere as she asked around if anyone had seen the birds: “If you see ‘em, you tell me you hear! That fat kookaburra and vomit-green lorikeet are mine. I’ll sell ‘em for a precious price and get employment in some less depressing place than this.”

Louis swooped into the office, now empty, grabbed the wooden spoons and flew back out. Once he had returned to the car, he saw Kookie was still there, waddling on the floor. He had gotten distracted by a half-eaten strawberry-iced donut chucked in the front corner. Now he proceeded to put it around his neck.

“Saving this snack for later,” Kookie explained.

“I just- don’t explain.”

Louis climbed into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition. The engine roared to life. That’s when the staff in the area finally took notice. Louis rammed the accelerator with one of the spoons, wing on the steering wheel, and the car sped towards the opposite fence. It crashed into it and broke through to the other end.

“Victory!” Louis exclaimed, pumping one wing into the air. The thrill was back. He could feel excitement and adrenalin pulse through his veins like never before. Even Kookie looked mildly concerned at this new side to Louis.

Louis turned the car sharply onto the wide path snaking through the theme park. Visitors screamed and jumped out of the way, not believing their eyes that two foreign birds were manning a mini-car and racing off at high speed, park employees chasing after them in a panic. “Gosh, the stunts in this park are getting wild!” Louis heard a visitor say as they went past.

“You got that right!” Louis said and thumped the steering wheel proudly. He followed the cartoonish signs leading to the front entrance of the park. That’s when another group of employees came running at them from the front, threatening to close them in. Louis veered the car to the left, taking an unexpected detour into the entry of another park ride.

The queue was so long that people had thrown open picnic blankets and were feasting on massive turkey legs while waiting.

“Where do you think you’re going?” one of the waiting people bellowed, waving his turkey leg indignantly as the car pummelled through his family’s picnic set-up. “We’ve been waiting here for 2.5 hours! OH HEY, get back here you- I eat birds like you for breakfast!”

Louis swung the car manically around obstacles and it went straight through the Indiana Jones themed ride, underneath the cars traversing through a dark cave. The passengers in the cars jerked their heads to gape at the birds as they drove past.

“These birds are off-theme,” one of the passengers complained, a dedicated Indiana Jones fan, “I didn’t pay a bucket full of money and wait a bunch to see some circus birds perform comedy in the Temple of Doom!”

Louis glanced over at Kookie to make sure he hadn’t fallen out of the car. Kookie had zoned out, he was way too calm and indifferent for a bird in a high-speed getaway. It was only when they went past some (obviously fake) spiders crawling up the cave wall that Kookie came back to his senses and yelled out, “Nyaaa! What ugly bugs!” (“oogly booogs”).

Finally, they reached the end of the ride and from there, somehow managed to get back on to the path leading to the park exit. They had lost sight of the staff chasing them, and the humans on the way to the exit were too surprised to react or do anything as they went by.

In another couple minutes, Louis and Kookie had left Disneyland behind and were on the open road. As they took the road heading in an unknown direction, Louis felt something similar to happiness for the first time in a long while.