Entry 13: Theme Park Part 1
“S-s-s-Sausalito?” Kookie sputtered, his excitement too much to contain. His eyes had that special kind of sheen they got when he was feeling gluttonous.
“It’s not to eat spaghetti,” Louis snapped but then added as an afterthought, “Although maybe we could squeeze that in… We’ll need to eat.”
“Woo,” Puffin said, grinning, “Sounds like an excursion is a-calling. Would love to join you adventurous couple of pirate birds on a cross-country hike.”
“You’re not invited,” Louis said, not expecting Puffin to look so heartbroken. The deal was, he could only handle one crazy bird at a time.
“I see how it is,” Puffin almost yelled, his American accent coming on strong now. But that good-natured expression quickly returned to his face and Louis suspected Puffin was one of those types who couldn’t stay mad or unhappy for long. He hated those types.
Louis returned to his ‘conversation’ with Kookie, “So let’s see here…how long to fly over to Sausalito from here?”
Kookie looked at Louis blankly and Puffin began laughing uncontrollably. “Hey uh- Mr Louis, you do realise Kooks hasn’t taken flight in a decade or more?”
“Huh?” Louis exclaimed in disbelief. Then his heart sunk as it dawned on him, yet again, that he made a terrible investigator – another colossal kick in the gut. For now that he looked back at all the time he had spent with Kookie, he realised he had never once seen Kookie fly.
“Yes indeed,” Kookie said, “Flying is a terrible inconvenience in terms of the energy expenditure. Why fly when you can invest 100s of 1,000-dollar bills into building portals for all your travel needs, local suburban and international?”
“Plus, he’s too fat to fly!” Puffin chuckled.
“That may be true,” Kookie conceded but would not confirm absolutely.
“Okay…” Louis frowned, “So portals then? That one in the tree hollow won’t necessarily take us where we need to go, though.”
“48% possibility,” Kookie replied, “Is a high chance, tips the scales in our favour. And it better do so if I am to source excellent tomato sauces from Sausalito.”
Louis ran the numbers in his head, “I don’t think your maths is quite correct there, Kookie. You sure you were a professor?”
“What has teaching to do with mathematical skills?” Kookie looked flustered.
Louis sighed.
Back at the tree, Louis and Puffin stood to one side as Kookie pecked at the hollow.
“This portal is in a bad mood today. Revised chances of accurate arrival: 35%.”
“Oh come on!” Louis said. He threw his beanie on the ground and stamped on it.
“Hey, manners!” Puffin scolded then his frown broke into a grin and he ribbed Louis, “We’ve got ourselves a cranky one, aye. Need a nice bowl of fish bones soup.”
Louis made a face, “Let’s get going Kookie. We might as well give this a shot.”
Puffin gave Kookie a big bear hug then turned to Louis. “Sure wish you the best of luck in Sausalito,” he said with an ominous wink.
Louis felt a slight chill tingle down his wings, but before he could reply, Kookie yelled out “Sausalito, US-of-A please!” and Louis hurriedly jumped into the tree hollow behind him.
There was that familiar sensation of being suspended mid-air in pitch blackness. Orange flames licked out from some unknown periphery and made Louis nervous. “You sure it won’t vacuum us?” he asked Kookie loudly over the background hum.
“Only if it thinks you are as value-less as debris or a trash heap,” Kookie said, not giving Louis any reassurance.
But it was over quickly. They were soon spat out – and that’s when they were both more terrified than they had ever been before (save for maybe Louis’ run-in with the gigantic bear bounty hunter, see: Entry 10).
“Nyaaaa!” Kookie yelled and flattened himself into a tight ball.
Louis would have roared with laughter at the sight if he wasn’t so horrified himself. They were sitting at the apex of a roller-coaster. Their seat swung precariously side-to-side as the ride creaked down slowly, then took a gut-wrenching, sharp dive before climbing up and around jagged curves at insanely high speeds.
Louis and Kookie were stuck underneath the metal bars designed to keep human riders locked into their seats. Louis had never felt so helpless as he did in the grips of this maniacal gigantic machine. Looking over the edge, he could see the sheer drop to the ground. Sure, he could fly out if this whole shoddy construction fell apart, but it was unlikely before he was flattened to death under its steely mass.
They were both too distracted to notice the kids in the seat behind them. Little did they know the kids had witnessed them appear out of thin air into the rollercoaster seat, stuck in its edges. The kids were screaming too, exclaiming about never believing in bird ghosts till now. But they were pretty relaxed about the whole high-speed-insane-rollercoaster situation, not to mention eating ice cream cones. One of the kids plunged the tip of their ice cream into Kookie’s head, hoping to destroy the ghost bird. To her horror, Kookie only laughed with joy at being dunked into chocolate ice cream. Meanwhile the other kid hit Louis in the head with his ice cream.
“I quit!” Louis wailed into the wind, “If we get out of here alive, I’m never hanging out with you again, Kookie. It’s done. I’m running far away.” But Kookie was too busy licking his ice cream-covered wings to pay any attention.
When the ride from hell was finally over, the kids ran over to the security booth to report the birds. The metal bars had loosened but Louis didn’t have enough strength to push them off.
“Ms, Ms!” the girl said to the employee operating the ride, “Ghost birds have invaded the roller coaster, you’re going to have to exterminate them!”
The boy elbowed her, “They’re ghost birds. That means they’re invisible, dummy.”
The girl scowled, “So why did we see them?”
“Only kids can see ghosts. Weren’t you listening to Sesame Street the other day?”
“Now calm down kids,” the operator said, tugging at her wide buckle belt in an intimidating way. “We can’t have pests on our rides. Where were these birds?”
The kids pointed and Louis could feel his heart thumping in his chest. “Oh we’re done for now! C’mon! Help me push out these bars.”
“Don’t be silly, Louis. Looks like assistance is on the way,” Kookie said.
Louis glanced back and sure enough the ride operator was heading straight for them.
“Ah pests alright!” she exclaimed and nodded at the kids, “You did good, kids. Now scram out to your parents.”
The kids mumbled complaints then left, looking over their shoulders.
The employee put her hands on her hips and grinned at Louis and Kookie, “Well look here! Got us a couple of exotic birds let loose from the zoo! We’ll get you right home.” She pulled up the metal bars and had them under the iron grip of her arm before they could get away.
Inside the staff office, Louis and Kookie sat locked up in a bird cage. Outside the open door, they could see excited theme park visitors strolling by. There were also people in costumes of various characters, like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck... It was then Louis realised they were in Disneyland, California. The sheer amount of branding on the way to and inside the office had also given him a hint.
It turned out Kookie knew Disneyland all too well. He kept yelling, “Nyaa!” and curling up behind Louis every time another costumed performer wandered by.
“What’s wrong with you?” Louis said.
“I am terrified of this place.”
“Huh. Finally a place you’re terrified of. Good to know, may come in handy.”
“The colours are dazzling. I have a similar sensation to whirling in a k-k-kaleidoscope of colours!” Kookie paused then added, “Not to mention such ugly mouses and ducks!”
“Okay whatever,” Louis said, “We need to get out of here. Otherwise we’re going to be sent to a zoo and locked up forever. Gawked at by strangers like we’re some kind of circus freaks.” Which you are, but I’m not, he added in his head smugly.
Louis looked around and then he saw it: a couple of decorative wooden spoons hanging right outside the cage against a wall. He had seen the employee put the cage’s key just out of reach on the desk, so maybe if he could take down those spoons, he could scoot it over.
TO BE CONTINUED.
