Entry 18: Eagle Hike

“We’re sorry to disturb you,” Louis said to the eagle, “But it’s an emergency.”

“Who is we?” the eagle asked in a majestic, low voice that boomed around the shed.

Kookie entered at that exact moment, his round silhouette marking him against the doorframe.

“It’s you!” the eagle said, taking in Kookie’s appearance sharply, “The thieving kookaburra!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Louis said. “You know Kookie?”

“Yes, we are well acquainted,” Kookie said with a positive excitement that, if Louis had to guess, didn’t accurately reflect the situation. “Many years ago, I wanted to take a submarine from the Gulf of Mexico up to Hudson Bay in Canada” (“Hooodson Bay”).

“Okay, sure.”

“Then commute by train to Montréal. And the eagle allowed me to hitchhike with him to the exact spot above the Gulf where the submarine would be located.”

“How could you know where it was located?”

“It was based on my finest calculations.”

“Of course it was. So then what happened?”

“Then this miserable bird fainted on top of me, while we were flying above Mexico. I nearly crashed into a mountain and was severely injured,” the eagle said. “My wings have never been the same since, which has led to all my other injuries up to this sorry day.”

“Why’d you faint?!” Louis asked Kookie.

“I consumed too much sugarcane. Even kookaburras have limits of sugar. Anyway, I still managed to steal the submarine, which is the main point, but it is a story for another day.”

Louis turned to the eagle, “I’m sorry about that… I’m guessing you wouldn’t want to help me get Kookie out of here?”

The eagle laughed humourlessly, “Dream on, foreigner!”

Louis thought some more. “What if I featured you in a future book?” he asked.

The eagle looked confused and intrigued all at once, “What kind of book?”

“I’m writing a biography about Kookie to raise awareness about the Cwazy Gene. Now, given how notorious he is worldwide, I’m guessing it will get a lot of sales. And everyone will find out about the heroic eagle who not only survived the misfortune of meeting Kookie once, but was generous enough to forgive and help him out again.”

“Very well,” the eagle said after a pause, “But I expect a full-page portrait of me flying high in the wilderness. Now, where to?”

Louis asked Kookie where the nearest portal was – which was both reliable and not in Sausalito – then informed the eagle, “New York City.”

Louis found out that Mr Mansoor’s mansion was in Los Angeles and so, given the long distance to New York, their flight across would take several days.

On the way, they found a post office for Kookie to send a letter to Samson advising that due to some “unfortunate mishaps”, their return to Sydney had been delayed, but to assure the Duck that they would arrive soon. Louis drafted the letter on behalf of Kookie so that it would make sense. At the bottom, he added the details of Kookie’s PO Box in New York (which he had, of course) for Samson to send a reply to.

And so they continued flying and Louis had never felt so exhausted. But he also had plenty of time to think and after some time, something clicked into place. He remembered all of a sudden Kookie telling him about his personal history at The Café when they had first met: “With the Cwazy Gene I miraculously escape all plots to kill me and accidents become near-accidents. I always manage to get away by the thinnest feather of my wings. The escape can’t be too miraculous, so as not to raise eyebrows. It has to be a near-escape.”

Louis was so stunned by this memory, he nearly fell out of the sky. So, that was why they had always managed to escape ever since the bounty hunter sent by the Duck! Louis felt bad realising their lucky escapes were less to do with his own ingenuity and quick thinking than he had thought before, but on the bright side, it meant that in Kookie’s company, they were always assured of near-escapes from danger. “Bring it on, the Duck!”  he thought with glee.

With his newfound sense of complacency and so renewed interest in adventure, Louis decided they could take an extra day in New York for a leisurely tour. Even the eagle agreed to join. They took pictures in Times Square, ate hot dogs from stands at every couple of blocks, and finished up at the Empire State Building, where the eagle became strangely emotional about the beautiful sunset view.

Finally, he took his leave from them, saying, “I shall look forward to my advance copy of your book, once it is published, Louis. Expect several portrait pictures of me in your mail soon, for you to select from.”

He then flew off into the wide horizons.

Louis and Kookie watched after the eagle, thinking it a magnificent, legendary bird, and then made their way to Kookie’s PO box, where they found a letter from Samson waiting:

Dear KOOKIE,

Thank you for informing me of the ‘unfortunate mishaps’. They sound interesting and mysterious and I demand all details! ROFL. So you will be returning soon with Looois? Please come to Timboon directly, as the Duck is tired of waiting and would like you to know he is so serious about burning the forest that he would like to stand near it with a matchstick to make it clear how serious he is! I hope you follow this line of thoughts, because I didn’t ROFL.

SO in more important updates, The Cafe still won’t let me enter the premises, but they let me have breadsticks on the footpath which is a huge relief. Bad news is the old pigeons that protested at Kookie’s factory are back. Yes I know about the minimum wage labours! They want re-COMPENSATION and they want a huge share of the breadsticks, they can’t be stopped on footpaths but maybe I come up with a solution? Think of feathers scattered everywhere.  

It is hard for me being a pigeon, but picking sides is a true life’s test. Am I a philosophy-expert too??

See you soon, in Timboon - yes, I will be there for the long-waited reunion between friends!

Samson

Louis read the letter with a frown, then said to Kookie, “Looks like we’re going to Timboon. So, where’s the portal?”

Kookie peered at Louis with his typical expression, arrogant but also completely oblivious, “It is halfway across the Brooklyn Bridge of course! You didn’t know this? The heavy winds knock off birds from the rails.”

“Why the heck would I know that? Now let’s get going.”

And luckily, this time, they managed to make it to the portal and it wasn’t a ‘maybe-portal’ (see: Entry 11) so they were able to commute to Timboon with 100% probability.